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What does “I love you” mean?

So many of my clients call to ask what it means when their new love interest begins to say “I love you” so quickly after meeting them. Often they are extremely skeptical of this newly professed “Love” because of past experiences that did not work or that broke all trust or simply betrayed their love. It is so hard to trust when we have been hurt or used. To best enlighten them, be totally honest and hopefully not hurt them, I use several points to help them protect themselves and look at this realistically.

Always know a possible true love candidate for marriage or commitment at least one year before you make a lifelong commitment to them. That first six months, the so called “Honeymoon Period” when they are smiling at us about everything and we are smiling right back showing them our best side, everyone is just so charming. After six - twelve months of knowing and loving them, life crisis situations will come up. They do in all lives. When the hot water heater floods their home, the car gets broken or wrecked and they have no ride, does your love stand up and take care of things or do they call Momma and get help and ask for money? What you learn about people’s character in a crisis is what they will be doing the rest of their lives and maybe yours. Is it what you want?

Are they jealous and controlling, always demanding to know where you are going and what you are doing every minute? It won’t change. What you see is what you get. It may be terribly flattering at first but having someone demand an accounting of all of your waking hours will not make you happy for long. You will begin to feel trapped. They will not allow you to have family or friends in normal relationships, only them.

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